CRUMPET

Crumpet is 29 and has lived with two whole human boys, you know. One she bought a house with when she was still at university (silly). One she even moved to the other side of the world for (REALLY silly). Placing all belief in fate, coincidences and going where the wind blows, she’s a lady who’s not known for thinking things through or considering the consequences of anything. Crumpet has been mostly single for a few years now – and is equally Very Happy about that whilst remaining eternally convinced that Something Magical is about to happen with pretty much every boy she sees on the bus, at the pub, or in a friend’s sister’s friend’s facebook photos. An active campaigner for Arts funding, she is obsessed with the life and work of William Morris and has a massive tattoo of a 19th Century wood block pattern on her back. Crumpet lives in North West London and works there too, teaching people how to look after old buildings, whilst earning extra money for gin and dresses by writing about holidays she hasn’t really been on.