BOYS: The Greatest Hits

Some songs have that bonkers way of taking you RIGHT back to the daft moment you’ve placed masses of significance on even after not hearing them for years, don’t they? That made this quite hard to write actually. The distraction of reminiscing…

ANYWAY. We tried hard to do some writing today, but basically spent 3 hours talking about boys and re-typing text messages to each other seconds after receiving them and sending each other pictures of faces. YES GIRLS REALLY DO THAT by the way. So we gave up on that idea, and thought we’d each make a playlist of our top 10 songs that have specific ridiculous boy-memories attached to them. They’re even on Spotify – so you can have a soundtrack whilst you read if you like.

WARNING: These are not songs picked for coolness, or musical greatness – they don’t even really work as a compilation (which Crumpet is finding VERY distressing) – but that kinda aint the point. Enjoy. x


1: Time Of My Life (from that Dirty Dancin innit) I already wrote about this in our First Crush post so not much more to say. It’s been 17 years since that First Great Dance With A Boy but whenever I hear this I STILL relive every single detail of that dance. Pathetic. Stupid brain. Stupid memory. I LOVE YOU BOY FROM SCHOOL. 4eva. IDST.

2: Crazy You (G.U.N) My second ever Proper Boyfriend when I was at school was COOL because he was into Proper Music and was a few years older. In fact he was SO cool that he barely ever went to his school and spent most of his time waiting outside MY school for me. One night in 1996 when we were sitting in my room listening to the radio and doing The Snogging. This song came on and the Radio Man said if you rang up you could win tickets to their album launch gig at the 100 club. I knew enough about Proper Music by now (aged 14) to know that I HAD TO GO TO THE 100 CLUB for a gig IMMEDIATELY. So we rang up and won 5 tickets. Obviously when we turned up we had no ID and couldn’t quite pass for 18. BUT WE HAD WON THESE TICKETS FAIR AND SQUARE. My boyfriend WAS 18 though, so he marched on in and found the A&R lady, explained what had happened, and she ‘chaperoned’ us to the VIP area for the whole gig and supplied us with posh nibbles and lemonades. Obviously my boyfriend went and got the Smirnoff Ice’s in once she’d gone off to mingle. So yeah. This became OUR song. I’d forgotten this whole event until today but it’s a good memory – and one that started a life-long passion for harassing people on the radio for free tickets to weird gigs.

3: Catch The Sun (Doves) Fast Forward to 1999. Sixth Form. 3rd Proper Boyfriend (who I met ON THE INTERNET. I’m not ashamed. YAHOO CHAT you know, but he was local and we’d been to a lot of the same silly local indie nights around Romford and whatnot so it wasn’t creepy. IT WASNT). Following on nicely from the events mentioned above, lovely Iain Baker had a competition on his XFM show to win tickets to a tiny Doves gig in Camden. It was on my 17th birthday and when I phoned and didn’t win, I moaned that it was my birthday and he BRILLIANTLY stuck me on the guestlist out of pity. We went. Iain compared. I bought him a beer to say thanks. It was awesome. The same thing happened for about the next 10 years really.

4: Little Baby Nothing (Manic Street Preachers) Art College. Loughborough University. I met a cute boy. He was on the uni radio. We hung out. He loved the Manics EVEN more than I did (which was A LOT back then). Therefor he was brilliant. He’d send me text messages calling me Little Baby Nothing. Which now I think of it isn’t much of a compliment really. He looks like a girl now and might like boys I think.

5: She Left Me On Friday (Shed Seven) I was studying in Cambridge (at ANGLIA POLYTECHNIC – or the Early Learning Centre as the locals called it). Went to visit a chum in Leeds to go see Shed Seven play at Leeds Union. Stayed at his and didn’t really leave for the next 5 years. Switched unis. Bought a house together. Had holidays. He dumped me on a Friday.

6: Always Love (Nada Surf) By 2005 I had moved back to London. Uni was over. My longest and least-nice relationship was over. I had a lot of bridges to build back home and felt pretty lonely. The first house party I went to with a heap of old school friends panned out quite well. A mates cousin was there. He was a drummer and a journalist. He liked Nada Surf. I did too. He didn’t want to be my boyfriend but I kept trying for the whole summer. He’s married now and works in insurance. And his wife’s hair looks REALLY boring.

7: Suzie (Boy Kill Boy) I’d graduated in Photography, and was doing freelance gig reviews and photos and interviewing the bands I fancied. A friend and I went to the NME new bands tour thing. Towers Of London, Maximo Park, Boy Kill Boy. My mate snogged the Boy Kill Boy singer whilst I went round nicking posters with a Community Support police officer who was the first person I had a proper filthy Textual Relationship with. We met up one other time at another gig, did loads of snogging and never saw each other again.

8: Shellshock (New Order) A biggie, this. One day I sat on my phone. It rang my mate Ali who I’d not heard from since uni, so I spoke to her. She was in London and temping at Camden Council. Funny I’d called as she’d just heard about a photography job and thought we should both apply. Then her gran died and she had to go to Germany for the whole interview period. I applied. When anyone asked how the interview went all I could mention was the guy who’d interviewed me. Gorgeous. Australian. Likes photography. The job was shooting panoramas, which was what my degree exhibition had been of. FATE. So this guy became my boss, pretty much. He was training me to replace him as he was going back to Oz. I BLOODY LOVED HIM. immediately. He liked New Order who are my If I Could Only Ever Listen To One Band Ever band. Once again, Iain Baker pulls through with tickets, and I take The Australian to Brixton Academy. We have a pleasent evening. We get together. It’s amazing. He moves home 10 days later. We travel in Thailand 2 months later. We move to Brighton 2 months after that. He moves home 9 months later. I move to Oz for 18 months. I move home. April 2009 he dumps me the night before I fly back to move there forever. I stay in London. The End.

9: Another Girl Another Planet (The Only Ones) Good Things happen whenEVER I hear this played if I’m out. That is all.

10: Solomon Bites the Worm (The Bluetones) If you know me at all I bet you’re shocked to your VERY core that it took me so long to get to this band, and even more confused about this specific song choice. Mark Morriss is pretty much my favourite person ever in the whole of the musical universe. HOWEVER. I recently went on The Best Date Ever. (If you’re a twitternator, I usually refer to him as TextingBoy). Half way through a bottle of Rioja, TextingBoy says “Yknow it’s RIDICULOUS. The Bluetones are the most underrated band EVER, right?”. As if that wasn’t enough, he then explains that Solomon Bites The Worm was on of the first songs he learnt to play on guitar. Which I can’t fully believe or imagine, but basically means I’ll probably marry this boy.


1) Menswe@r – Daydreamer……

1994 i was in Hospital with some gammy foot or something. Male Scottish nurse, absolutely adored him,  to this day i  kind of still do. He was tall with the most amazing nose and so cool. He gave me Clockwork orange to read, i was 14. He’d come sit in my room and we’d talk about tons of stuff and he was funny and a bit of a tease and his bloody voice wow. So one day this song came on and the lead singer reminded me of Jim, i ended up buying loads of their stuff and suddenly got into Brit Pop and indie music and started dressing all grungy….You know that point as a teenager where you’re like “Wicked this is who i am, this is what I’m into”. Well thats how i felt. As for Jim, when they told me i could go home i was devastated, properly cried and everything. When i got older I’d see him down the pub and stuff and he was still just as gorgeous. A few years ago i was in WH Smiths and i saw him and i had a little stalkery look and then went up to him and he looked at me and i said “You dont remember me do you?” and he said “Of course i do Nina Tame” Ahhhh *SWOON* he was still absolutely gorgeous too.

2) James Brown – This is a mans World…….

2001 i was 21 going out with a bit of a sensible nob and bumped into J in the pub. He was cocky and had the most AMAZING smile. He made some remark about my boyfriend being a wanker and what was i doing with him. I thought he was an over confident arse but still he stuck in my head. He ended up becoming one of THOSE relationships, he never quite became a boyfriend because one of us would be seeing someone else. But we’d have these occasional meet ups and they’d always be so amazing. Hes one of those ones where i think fuck that probably could of been really good. Anyway i was in his room once, which was exciting in itself. I mean I’d never been in his house, i met his bloody dog and it did tricks WOW. So we were up in his room and he played this but some god awful dance version he had made. It didn’t matter that he was almost a TRENDY he was gorgeous and his hair smelt awesome.

3) Rodger Collins – She’s Looking good……………

Bloody Nora this boy totally frickin did me……..The first time i set eyes on him i was blown away, he was tall and dark with these amazing big brown eyes. He was a barman and DJ at my local. I remember an arse hole of a boyfriend giving me grief and B stepped in, thats what did it for me. He dressed like a mod always looked so frickin stylish and totally got me into that way of being. My love of vintage furniture and clothes is completely down to him. So this was a song he would DJ out and i always knew it was played for me. I’d have a mad little dance and he’d be looking over all smiley. It wasn’t the easiest of relationships mainly because he was seeing someone else at the time. But i was young and in love and put the guilt i felt to one side and believed him when he said him and his girlfriend were just like friends and he wanted to end it. Bah stoopid boys!!!!! Anyway having to share was crap so those moments like when he played that, were always good.

4) The Marvelettes – I’ll keep on holding on …….

This is another one for B, cos of the situation we weren’t really like a normal couple. Didn’t really do coupley things but i eventually started working at the same pub and everyone else who worked there knew the situation. So i guess its the only place apart from at home where we could be us. So one night he was finishing up a set and played this, then came out from behind his booth and we slow danced. This was such out of character behaviour for him and i remember just giggling like a spaz and feeling so frickin happy.

5) David Soul – Silver Lady………

Ok this is the first of a few involving my ex husband. This was another mutha fudger of a relationship but writing this has made me remember that there was some really good times too. So i met L through a friend who had a recording studio. L was the bass player in this band, as soon as i saw him i fell instantly. He was staying for the week and after our second meeting he spent the next five days with me. We fell really hard and fast, when he went home it was just horrible. I proper wailed at the station had to get me sister to come pick me up…Was a right Mess. Anyway between the time we met (April) and the time he moved in (September) We would write each other all the time and he sent me a playlist with this on it. The reason being because he was this amazing guitarist and when we met i was dabbling, I’d never even heard this song but bashed it out badly for him anyway……It made me laugh so much to see it as the ‘Bonus’ track on this otherwise boy cool – Aphex Twin etc Playlist.

6) Elbow – Powder Blue………..

This song still makes me get proper emotional. There was something about watching L play guitar and sing that just made me go all funny. I guess because he was never very good at showing emotion, not the romantical nonsense that girls love. So when he’d start to sing i felt like it was really aimed at me and that WOAH you actually do like me. First time he played this i cried….He had the most beautiful voice especially for some reason when singing Elbow. Also this song totally summed up how i felt about us at the time…..Oooh Yesssss aint we all misunderstood and that (Nob)

7) Tenacious D – Tribute………….

Although he was a frickin awesome singer and guitar player L rarely played in front of other people. Especially towards the end. This reminds me of sitting at my Mums and L finally giving in and playing. This always made me laugh so much and the kids would be laughing and even L would actually enjoy himself….Good Ruddy Times.

8 ) The Flamingos – I only have eyes for you………..

This was our wedding song……….At the time of picking it didn’t really have meaning for us. We both liked it, we could slow dance to it and it was cool. We never really slow danced or any of that stuff, but its the sort of thing i flippin love. So walking out and dancing to this all foolishy optimistic and happy, me all nervous about dancing and was i ok and would i loose my balance and Lee whispering that he loved me and i was fine and i looked beautiful and i was dancing perfectly. It was a lovely bubble of a moment so this song will always be all special and that.

9) Glenn Miller – I’ve got a girl in Kalamazoo………..and

10) Bishop Allen – Butterfly Nets

Last two songs are for Painty Man haha this is kind of, might be, possibly ongoing. Painty Mans a painter an artist??? I dunno anyway we met on Twitter last April i was all fresh from my marriage split and in sweeps this man and blew me away a bit really. Dont think I’ve ever met anyone i can be so friggin silly with and makes me laugh so much. He also has amazing curly hair and owns a Ghostbusters costume (I’m preeety sure i want to marry him) Only downside is that he lives in America, fuckety fuck it. We had this thing in the beginning that we were War Time Sweethearts and we’d say bladdy a lot….OH THIS BLADDY WAR!! Hahaha still makes me laugh.Both of these tracks are on this amazing playlist he made me in the spring. Bloody music, I’m sure thats what done it……..Totally fell for him after he made that.

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2 Responses to BOYS: The Greatest Hits

  1. Crumpet – # 9. Yes.

    You two are brilliant. I think I may be inspired to take up my poorly neglected bloggy thing again.

  2. pandacrumpet says:

    Dawww Thanks………..and Dooooo Eeeetttttt!!! xx

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