“I’ve got some words o’wisdom…”

(Snippets from email banter):

C: “I had this idea on the bus and sent this ENTIRE thing to myself via text. Know how we were sharing words of wisdom at the weekend? let’s post the boy drawings tonight and if you reckon you could write a Panda piece that matches this we could post this on, say wednesday or somethin. Lemme know whatyou thiiiink! Have a booootiful day! x”

CRUMPET’S WORDS OF WISDOM:

This is from The Australian chapter of Crumpet… so heads up on the shitty ending once again. But you know. Learning & growing… learning & growing.

I -well we both- placed a lot of significance on ‘signs’. Reading so much in to similarities with the obscure things we liked. The surrealists in Paris in the 1930s. New order. Old books. Tintin. Tea. Happily, I’ve been fortunate enough to have now met enough awesome, interesting and like minded people since The Australian Times to know that these things may not be that obscure after all but that’s how I felt at the time. We MUST be soulmates, I thought, because everything either of us ever suggested excited and inspired the other. And so for as much of my romantical history as I can remember, finding stuff you like in common with someone was my key to happiness.

When things started going downhill in oz and I was heading towards setting back for London, my boss – a fabulously talented milliner and Very Wise Lady who I’d been apprentice to for a year had to bare the brunt of my wailing and misery. I didn’t have that many friends out there so working with her all day meant I off loaded my troubles on to her.

One day in floods of tears after sending off my shipping crates for their long journey home by sea I broke down in tears, glue-gun in hand. “What if he doesn’t get his visa? What if he doesn’t come to London. What if this is it? How will I ever find anyone I have so much in common with again? I’ll never meet anyone who likes as much of the same crap as me.” And right then seeing my biggest romantic flaw she kindly and calmly explained how the bigger issue is that your insides match. your core values and view of the world deep down inside. “It’s not what you like. It’s what you’re like.”

Obviously because of stupid love I decided she didn’t know what she was talking about. But when Panda was blabbing away last week about boys, I was able to pass it on to her. Someone once told me that you won’t appreciate or understand the greatest advice you ever hear until you pass It on. And now, 2 years after hearing it, I get it. x

(Continued snippets of email banter):

P: “Wicked bit O writing Miss.Will have a think about me own words of wisdom hmmmm. Yes boy drawings up tonight will be cool. I’m in a total sulky grump haven’t heard anything from PainterMan since Saturday BAH!!!! Off to stuff face with coronation chicken and brownies.”

PANDA’S WORDS OF WISDOM:

Things i have learned in my year of Singledom………….

Two halves do not make a whole….Yeah yeah ok so if you’re getting all technical and shit they do. But in relationships no way hose A. See i left one relationship, a fucktard of a relationship, all insecure and broken (A half) i met someone else very soon after, being that i firmly believe you attract what you put out, i met an equally broken half. At first it was all lovely and yeah and WOO HOO I’m not alone LARDY DAH but then because we were two broken halves we didn’t come together and make a beautiful lovely whole. We slowly made each others insecurities and fucked up bits worse MUCH MUCH WORSE.

So this last year I’ve worked at being a whole all by meself……..Of course i learned this the hard way and after displaying some shockingly needy insecure behaviour to a man i had been on one, yes ONE date with i realised it was time to make me happy.

So i looked at my life as a pie chart and saw the massive space entitled “Time thinking/obsessing/wishing i had a boyfriend” and replaced that with things that made me happy. Spending time with good friends, going to the cinema alone (My favourite one, especially as my Mother finds it so shocking/amusing) Making cakes for people, Kareaoke at home has features heavily, walks in the woods, dressing up as Supergirl (CAN NOT RECOMMEND THIS ONE ENOUGH, you think Supergirl sits around moping? Nughh Uggh Sista)  This is a work in progress mind you, even when doing other non boy related activities i still find myself thinking about boys………..Ahhhhh lovely boys.

The difference is i still love boys and think about boys and look at pictures of cute boys (I’m 30, it might be time to start referring to them as men maybe, for fear of getting arrested??) Anyway yeah so of course i still think about them but because I’ve filled my time up doing stuff that makes me all happy……..I’m not thinking bout em in a “Oh god i need a boyfriend I’m just not complete without one”way. Fuck that needy shit….Spending time single, doing stupid little things just for me has been awesome. Me and myself are getting on really well, i think myself is rather lovely and funny and sweet, if i was a boy I’d totally wanna hook up with me.

So there you have it, I’m not quite a whole but i’m definitely a happy three quarters and I’m ok with that….See my Happy three quarters will attract another Happy three quarters and then we’ll get a………Oh gawd I dont bloody know Maths was never my strong point…….But it’ll be Frickin AWESOME!!!

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2 Responses to “I’ve got some words o’wisdom…”

  1. H says:

    OMGlikeyeahtotally.

    I’ve spent too much time being a half, way too much time, and this year have made a concerted effort to be a whole and you know what? It works! I think it’s that whole “if you tell yourself you’re X enough, sooner or later you become X” thing. All that time I was looking to someone else to like me I didn’t really like myself very much because I was so focussed on what someone else might “do” for me I didn’t even know what me was. Now I’ve started to see me and she’s is pretty damn awesome ackshully, ta.

    So errr, yeah, BIG UP THE WIMMINS. They’re lucky to have us. Or not. Whatever. I’m cool either way.

    P.S. I think the prospects are “boys”. When they turn into something interesting, definite, relationship-person then they become a man, because I fancy boys but I only want a relationship with a man.

    • pandacrumpet says:

      BEST COMMENT EVER!!!!! I nearly went into a whole thing about confidence and if you fake it enough it eventually comes true. Dangerous business relying on someone else to make you happy cos if that goes then you’re fucked. If you can get happy by yourself what ever extra comes along is a lovely bloody bonus.

      And love love LOVE your last comment thats very spot on they is boys we make em men hahaha!!!

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