Let’s Talk About Text

Ahhh the Text Message such a simple thing yet it can be filled with so much awesomeness or so much bladdy angst.

We LAFF Texting we do, we love Texting each other and we specially like texting boys. But Boys Arggghhh, they can either be good boy Texters or Bad Boy Texters. My Friend M is a good boy Texter. For example here’s an exchange from yesterday…….

Me: (Sent Pic of new Zombie eyes)

2 Min Later M: You look like something out of one of them crappy vampire programmes….But cool none the less

Me: Hahaha What’d you expect for a tenner!

M:Talking of tenners can i pop round later and borrow one?

Me: Yes give me a text first make sure I’m in

Me (again): (Sends pic of Halloween Outfit)

M: Hahahaha Excellent

M (again): Do another pic with contacts in

Me: Noooo not yet, you have to wait till next week. I’m gonna get hammered its gonna be the best night of our lives ha!

See that be a nice fast exchange of texty goodness. Now later on i sent another boy a text, a boy who i sort of like Innit and he sort of likes me back so he says and two, yes TWO hours later i get a reply. A reply that said “HI”. Which lead me and Crumpet to have a whole conversation about Boy Texting which we’ll share with you here so you can mock how freakin sad we are…

maybe he meant it like a sexy “hiiiiiiii” like grrrrrrhellooooo

Nah it was just a hi, weather he thought i’d text straight back and we’d start chatting. Cos he does that sometimes in an IM convo…….and i didn’t text back till an hour later…..not heard since. FACKING LOOOOON!!!

what the hell is wrong with him
did you reply?

Yeah i put hey. hahaha
not hahaha just hey.
he’s mental bah!!!!

boys are ridic
had a funny lllllong text from Dinoboy this mornin, text back, got a reply replied to THAT and then NOTHING for like 12hours. HES AT HOME doing BUGGER ALL because hes off sick WHY ISNT HE TEXTING ME LOADS. He did tell me ages ago he’s not ‘very texty’ n that. But he IS. So its confusing.

ERRRRR They are RABBISH. So confooosing

dont wanna bug him and make him be texty when hes not in to it but then HE LIVES FAR AWAY so what ELSE do we have. BLAH

EXACTLY…..I love texting whats it take like 30 seconds. STUPID BLADDY BOYS.

fuck it yeah im gonna text him now. No point waiting around is there. You wanna hear from someone then you make it happen innit



meh but why isnt he THINKING ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME because when you do thats when youre like OOOH IM THINKING ABOUT YOU I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU I KNOW I’LL TEXT YOU

you have made an error

ugh because i text HIM? all it said was “how ya doin dinoboy?”
(with 2 xx’s obv)

Boys are boys and do not think like girls. Their brains are full up with other boy stuff .

stupid boybrains

Hang on i’ll ask M.


M said its to play it cool.Thats a rabbish answer

thats bullshit

Some blokes aren’t into texting loads.

boys dont have the brain capacity for playing it cool

he just said.

BUT WHAT ABOUT IF THEYVE ALREADY SAID THEY WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND LIKE YOU LOTS AND ARE REALLY FALLING FOR YOU (all actual quotes btw yay) (actual voice quotes too not text ones)

He’s sticking with they just dont like texting.

eugh FINE.

I’m not asking him anymore.
Errrr cant believe i caved and text J. I lasted three whole days. I have no willpower.



it says “not good dinogirl not good. Trying to rest… pain LOTS of pain! Still aiming to come but i might be a decrepid old fart if I do! How are you (CrumpetsRealFullName)?” (he GUESSED my middle name after only 3 tries on saturday! Amazing. Now he uses it all the time)

Ahhh you silly billy….no wonder he aint texting boys feel soooooo sorry for themselves when they’re poorly.He full named you, thasts lovely.

but dont they like sympathy?Yeah i love a bit of full name action

Yeah but they cant be arsed to text.

carefully crafting reply of sympathy and light telling-off for needing to rest more

Tis good…….I think I’m ganna haff to text him again….the lonely “Hi” is bugging me.

yeah that Hi is RIDICULOUS. Unacceptable

isn’t it. hmmmm hate crafting texts…PRESSURE!!! 

I love it. Creative writing practice


I asked if he’d been doing ALL of the resting or if he’d really just been playing guitar and doing boyish day-off things

Thats good………..I cant think of anything to putyet, hmmmfff. 

what about a gentle… calm… subtle… WTF ONLY A HI WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU DICK 

Oh god i text… Bah fuck… I’m gonna pull halloween in sexy scary warzombie costoooooom!!!
bloody hell im STARVING
had a shit dinner + a piece of toast
Oh he text back 

oh he’s SO NAUGHTY he’s not been resting at all he’s been SHOPPING ffs.

Hmmmfff very bad….wass he bought??

a jacket and some eco friendly shoes LOVE HIM but still. Im telling him he’s in a whole world of trouble


told him he’ll wake up on saturday still feeling horrid and be all “oh i feel awful AND im missing London fun but god this new jacket sure looks brilliant on me…”
What a prick 😦:(

hAHAHAHA Nooooo thats good!

Why the frig is it sooooooo cold???


bah J just text…….


“Panda! Sorry lovely just doing an art show. 😉;)

OHHH hooray PHEW logical explanation who’daguessed

do i text back??

you could tell him you hope it goes amazingly for him

Yes thats nice.

So i did just what Crumpet said and heard nothing back OBV…….Bahhhhhhh, boys sort it out. Get those opposable thumbs working and text us. It dont have to be bladdy poetry just a text, and dont leave it hours either. Its not playing it cool its just crap.
This entry was posted in Textual healing, Very Silly Things. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Let’s Talk About Text

  1. Tom_May_Be says:

    I’m a good texter when I remember, but quite frequently forget. And I never want to be the one who draws the “textversation” to a close in case it appears I’m being rude and just not replying. Girls are complicated too – they take offence at these sort of things!

  2. qui says:

    I waited 5 minutes before posting this comment, playing it cool.

  3. mixmasterfestus says:

    You’re both mental.

  4. The Bearcat says:

    Sorry loves, but it is quite the hilarious thing seeing you two whip yourself into a frenzy over it. Problem is, we already know what it does to you lot 😉 Excellent post, though. Looking behind the curtain, innit!

  5. Rachel says:

    ruddy brilliant. Have to say my o/h is good at texting me back at all times, whenever, wherever. If he didnt though, he’d be in oodles of trub and on the naughty step when I got back HA HA.

  6. Jenny says:

    How old are you two? Have you ever thought about not behaving like children and growing up a bit? I saw this blog on a retweet from twitter and it makes me despair for the world. I suppose I’m lucky you like ‘boys’ so much, as it leaves the ‘men’ for me.

    • pandacrumpet says:

      Oh Jenny, Jenny, Jenny,

      You realise what you just read doesn’t make up our entire lives right? You know that in our real lives, we deal with Jobs, and children, and ex husbands, and Illnesses, and hospital appointments and friends that are sick. But you know if you were grown up ALL THE TIME and let the stresses and worrys of life bring you down, we’d end up miserable and bitter and waste time writing negative things on peoples blogs. So you see its ok to be a kid sometimes, try it Jenny, go eat some sweets and put a smile on ya moosh. : )

  7. Linzi says:

    Girls! You realise I accidentally ATE my fecking apple core while reading this… it has GOT to STOP. (Before I kill meself!)

  8. vivmondo says:

    Let’s push Jenny in a puddle and steal her Refreshers.

  9. Pete FunksDa Best says:

    I feel the same as you ladies, not replying or replying curtly is just not cool! Maybe I’m not a proper boy. Am I a man? Yes, technically I am. I wouldn’t text Jenny back though, she’s a right old misery guts.

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