We’ve been discussing this stuff on and off pretty much the entire time we’ve ever spoken to each other. It’s always relevent and always changing and always funny and ALWAYS confusing. The very nature of how Panda & Crumpet came in to being proves just how relevent this is – when you ‘meet’ someone who’s trapped inside your computer and they invade your brainbox and mess with your mindcogs…
We’ve ended up writing about this quite differently to one another again but that’s why we love this blog. 1 topic, 2 responses. Today – INTERNET BOYS. x
Ok so I’m relatively new to the whole internet boy thing. What with being in a relationship for six years i never really used the net for that. Then suddenly a year ago I’m all single and like OMG i can turn on this computer box thingy and its full of frickin boys. I was like a fat kid in a bakers. So here’s my run down of the good ones, the embarrassing ones and the down right heart breaking ones…
The one I scared away…
When i first found myself single i claimed to be fine with it, when looking back actually i was desperate to not be. So there was this guy who i had been tweeting for ages then suddenly i looked at him totally different. He was funny and handsome and cool and every tweet he sent me i read into like “Oh my god he’s totally into me and wants to marry me” So after a Tweetdate thingy which was basically us both finding ourselves watching the same film on the same night and tweeting each other throughout the whole thing. I decided to ask him out, here in lays the problem, for me this was A MOTHER FUDGING DATE for him it was a casual meeting of two Twitter friends. It pains me to share this really, i was such a facking spaz and clearly not ready to be released back into the big wide boy world. The meeting in itself was great, drinks cinema good conversation. It was the after that was the problem, i think i asked him out again the very next day. I was like an over keen puppy “Play with me, play with me” He then had to do the whole “I’m not looking for a girlfriend” Conversation. Not really the best start into singledom. We remained twitter friends after that and even had another real life meet up which went equally well as the first. But i didn’t learn and spazzed off again after that. We are no longer twitter friends, which is a shame because looking back now, he really weren’t the one for me in that way. Nice bloke and that but totally didn’t get my whole I like to dress up as Supergirl on a rainy day thing.
The one i never met but still broke my heart a bit…
Struggling to write this without making myself look like a total FACKING mentalist. Ok so remember i was still newly single and had just got out of something pretty much devoid of any affection and i was still a bit wobbly and that ahem right waffling now, lets tell this BLADDY TALE. Twitter man, artist man, I tweeted him about something he’d done that i liked, he tweeted back. We exchanged some DM’s i liked his words lots. I decided to buy some of his work so we ended up talking on FB. This then turned into mammoth IMing sessions. He blew me away with the way he spoke and how easy he was at expressing himself, he was silly, and funny, and within a few days was telling me how much he liked me and he was gonna come over and see me. Few days after that we were exchanging playlists and skyping. Over the course of about ten days we were talking constantly he told me he had really fallen for me, he was gonna paint me pictures and somehow we would make this work. Hey i was newly single remember, i believed everything he said. Then he kind of vanished, being that i was WOBBLY this really freaked me out i had sadly actually really fallen for this manchild. I did a cry and everything, then proceeded to try and find out what had happened to which he NEVER gave me a straight answer. So i moped for a bit then dealt and moved on. Well i say moved on but we were still FB friends and I’d still talk to him sometimes and he’d comment on an occasional post of mine. We just never mentioned the 10 days of intense whatevers. Then a few months back he came back again, just like before, saying he was coming over and he really liked me, so glad he had me in his life. Took my address (again) cos he wanted to send me something. Declared all sorts of fancy emotions for me….IT WAS FULL ON LIKE KING KONG. And yes I’m a fucking muppet but i got drawn in again but not as much, its true ask Crumpet she’ll back me up. Then OBVIOUSLY he disappeared again. So his behaviour was EXACTLY the same, but yay me cos of all the learning and growing and that I’ve let it go. I’ve got tons of theories of why he was like he was. But it really dont matter I’m just dead chuffed with myself for walking away this time and not fighting for something that wasn’t even real in the first place.Oh and Remember kids not everything you read on the internet is the truths.
The lovely Ones…
I wouldn’t of had as much fun as I’ve had this year if it wasn’t for the lovely AWESOME boy folks that I’ve met on the net.
The gorgeous curly haired one, who i bonded with over our love of films and Brass eye. He tweeted out of the blue back in June and we’re still good interbuddys now. We’ve shared some drunken skype chats and drunken phone conversations, dawww he’s like the little brother i never had *sniff*. Then there’s the lovely Irish one (yeah YOU) we tweet, often abuse at each other, and met up in the summer, had one of those afternoon where you can just chat and chat and chat. Was bladdy lovely and i do believe we’re having a ‘Curry Off’ soon. Then there’s the one that i Tweet with late into the night, our conversations often run into the ridiculous and he’s been responsible for making me smile on many a shit single day. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting up with him too and he’s just as lovely and sweet and fabulous in person as is his on the interweb (Maybe even more so) Oh and the one who bothered to make and send me a birthday card, who i end up always talking about dead prostitutes with, he’s ace too.
So yeah one year into this whole social interworld of boy thingy and i can safely say the pros out weigh the cons. I’ve learned a lot along the way good and bad and I haven’t had a murder done on me yet so thats got to be a bonus right?!
A Long Time Ago* I used to use Yahoo Chat. It was brilliant fun and quite small in those days (*The Dial-Up times) and as a hormonal yet awkward (because of The Hair and because of no one liking the same stuff as me) it was a BRILLIANT way to practice imaginary flirting through the magical powers of words and taught me how to type to boys. I’d say it wasn’t romantical or creepy but I was 16 and blablabla. I’ve written before about the wonders of meeting people for brilliant gig adventures so kicking that stuff off relatively young has made me totally unphased by things like twitter providing me now with online ‘friends’ or meeting up with people in real life.
YET it NEVER ever stops being a COMPLETE AND TOTAL HEADFUCK.
I have a massively overactive imagination. So if I’ve basically only seen your face in a little profile picture square, or liked some funny things you’ve said or seen that we like the same bands, then you’re totally real. And we’re mates now. And if you’re a boy then let’s face it, I probably fancy you too.
There’s tons I could write on this subject as it’s been about 15 years since I started meeting up with people who leap out of my computer screen and in to the pub. But still. The fact that it’s so easy to get carried away makes it easy to categorise some of my experiences… But I’m still not sure if it’s easy to talk to people in this way because they’re not ‘really’ there… or if it’s because they ARE real and it’s just no big deal any more….
The Fantasy Boy
This boy is completely lovely and has web-woo’d you with witty twitty words and general pleasantness. This one has you all “we get along SO well he’s like an old friend even though we’ve NEVER met plus he’s gorgeous”. This boy will remain elusive and stuck in ‘fantasy’ status however because he lives far away or has a girlfriend and the chances of you ever hanging out in real life are slim to none. Enjoy it for what it is and try not to confuse the feelings you’d have for a human you can see and touch for the feelings you (are totally allowed to) have for a human who you can only see pictures and words of.
This guy intrigues you at first then promptly adds you to every corner of his internoodle commenting and liking and so on.
It’s pretty easy to hunt people down these days with just the fewest details… which I think is totally FINE by the way… because if you don’t know someone in real human actual life then why not find out what their brother/school friends/dog looks like whilst you’re getting to know each other… The more ‘meeting up for a drink’ is suggested, the more off-putting this situation becomes. This is an odd one and I’ve not written what I’m trying to say very well. Sometimes it’s kinda nice to be stalked. Panda and I are both finding this happening more and more since starting this blog which is flattering, but it never stops making you feel a *bit* uncomfortable when someone claims to adore you so much without even having met you… (works both ways as I’m totally guilty of this myself btw).
The Local & Awesome Boy
Sometimes you’re astounded that someone can live so near by yet seems to only exist on your computer. Rather than getting all imaginationalised about this one, meet him sooner rather than later or else by the time you do you’ll have further to come crashing down when you realise you’re better off as mates.
The One that Runs and Runs and Runs out of steam
So many excellent emails. Facebook chittychats. Tweets. Maybe even packages in the mail. You get on so well. Everything clicks. Everything is awesome. And then your actual proper real human life changes and you just kind of forget to email back and everything fizzles out a bit. And it’s kind of sad in a nostalgic way but also kind of fine because you’re distracted by your ‘real’ life…
The One With Potential
This is the guy who is so normal and awesome and brilliant that the only thing making you SUPER-suspicious of him is the fact that he is stuck inside your computer. WHY is someone this cool hanging out on the internet and not at the pub? If he’s SO rad, HOW are you going to explain to your grandchildren that you met on the INTERNET? Oh the shame of it. Yes yes we all know there’s no shame and it’s 2010 and it happens ALL the time but still…. the shame of it…
God all of this is making me sound like SUCH a fucking dork. I do talk to real life actual human boys you know. Sometimes – lots of the time – it’s just a nice advantage when you already know if you have or do not have stuff in common, or know a little bit what someone is like… It’s good finding these things out when you meet a REAL person of course… but it’s also kinda cool when you already know you’re going to be off to a good start too.